He just left! I yelled at him and basically told him what an asshole he was to want this divorce. I was screaming and just couldn't stop! I LOST IT! I told him that I was tired of having been his prositute for the last 18 years, that I hated the fact that he couldn't wait to get this divorce. I could not stop. I said so many terribly hurtful things. It was clear that I wanted to hurt him. He just couldn't wait to leave. I hate myself for being like this. I hate him.

Was I in a dream world this morning to think that things would, could work out? What a fool I am!

Maybe this is because it is a FULL MOON again! A month since this all started with him coming home at 2:30 in the morning and saying he wasn't happy. How can I still feel so messed up?